Her Story, XXII

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

Today’s story was sent in by one of our readers, who has asked to stay Anonymous.

This is her story.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile

Hi.

I’m one of those regular kids, not extremely rich, but very comfortable… I wasn’t abused as a kid, to the best of my knowledge and I remember getting every good thing I needed… Perfect life yeah?! I know… This story is not directly about the me you all know- the happy girl who’s always there for everybody and who doesn’t feel pain, it’s about the real me.

Since I could tell the difference between right and wrong, all I’ve ever wanted is to be accepted, to be wanted. I mean I have family members that love me and friends, they’ll do almost anything for me, but it has never been enough. I’ve looked for love in all the wrong places, gotten my heart-broken too many times. I’ve loved and I’ve lost, it has always been the same feeling of gross inadequacy, emptiness, void, loneliness … Like a hole in my heart… I’ve never been able to explain it but it’s there.

Nobody really knows these things, most people think I’m very shy or I’m ‘forming’ … because I put on a façade of happiness most times and frankly, it’s easier to say ‘I’m fine’ than to start explaining the reasons why I’m not.

I have very deep trust issues… I mean, I’ll rather keep it in my heart, than say it out, even for me to hear. So much, that I don’t trust the decisions I make. I’m indecisive most times because of that and opening up to people that love me has always been a very difficult task.

I should pray??? I tried that… I cried to God, nothing changed.

I’m usually the rock for my friends, the one that gives sound advice. But no one has ever paused to think that the ‘rock’ might need a someone too.

I’m all alone in this, I’ve always been… Maybe I’ll be fine someday, maybe I’ll understand what I truly need. But till then, all the feelings of gross inadequacy, the emptiness, the void,the loneliness, it’s all gonna be hidden beneath my perfect smile. 🙂

• • •

Don’t just read, say a prayer.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Tomorrow’s ’Her Story, XXIII’ by @ThisConnectd

You can still send in your own true stories to obafuntay@gmail.com

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

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5 thoughts on “Her Story, XXII

  1. Hey, read about temperaments it will help you a lot. I understand how you feel and I can confidently tell you that its normal, that’s how people with your temperament feels and act. Myself inclusive.
    Get this book “why I act the way I do” by tim lahaye

  2. I can totally relate… And I’m not sure there’s a specific thing u can do about the feeling and all of that… I still haven’t been able to find a solution… But I believe in time… Eventually… It’ll go… Don’t push it… Smile more often… It’ll eventually become a part of u… And I guess… Soon enough… D pain will go away… Try having an imaginary “somebody” keeping it all inside isn’t healthy enough… Would have adviced u have someone u can always talk to… But we are human… They’ll disappoint u somehow… Pray… Cry… You’ll get tired of doing them and the pain and loneliness won’t mean anything to u anymore. Be fine. 🙂

  3. U need the power & the in filling of the of the Holy Spirit who will dispel those feelings of despair & u’ll become even a better shoulder for others 2 lean on & be happy urself. May the Lord help u find the joy u need.

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