The Tale of the Silent Screamer

It’s 8:31pm, I’m taking a walk, I’m in that mood again, each time I get in it, I fall in deeper, the headphone is on, but it doesn’t work… I’ll just leave it there all the same. Its best when people think I can’t hear them, I don’t even feel sad about this ’cause everyday, I scream and no one hears.
Life just goes on… silly me!
What did I expect, that the world halts and try to fix me? or someone taps me and indisputably wants to know what’s going on, asking “why are you screaming so loud” even with my lips sealed. I keep walking, there are pedestrians everywhere, look at them, they never hear, they never listen, but I scream still.

Frustration, tension, apathy…

These three now stick with me like accessories I can’t do without, the more I try to get them off, they become yet even tighter. I have lost my voice, I scream no more not cause I don’t want to but because I just can’t anymore.

I hear a deafening scream, it seems to come from behind me, I look around, I see nothing grotesquely odd,

the mallam selling suya down the road, the road-side traders, the thugs fighting over change, cars honking… same ol’ Lagos theatrics.

But with these entire simultaneous occurrences I hear this screamer distinctively, I can’t help but wonder why, I take off my headphones, tap him and ask why? He went on about how everybody had been praying for his only brother, how pastors, family, prayer warriors, had been praying yet, he is six feet beneath as we walk.
He is blaming himself, his eyes tear as he asks rhetorically “If I prayed seriously and fasted would that have made a difference?”
I just stare blankly, I can see the agony through his eyes, and he really believes if he prayed a little more, there’d have been a difference. I mumble something about not blaming himself; crack my head on anything inspiring I can share as I pat him on the back, increase my pace and continue walking.
Now ahead of him, my mind can’t help but wonder and think… God why?
But people prayed, warriors, faith believing pastors, agreements were made, demons bound and casted but today, this boy is here sad, in tears and without a brother nor a father who he lost years back.

*sigh*

Here is another screamer calling for answers, in dire need for comfort, in need of love, In need of hope, searching for answers.

This walk, I shall never forget, the lesson learned I always remember: Life is too short to have such accessories (frustration, tension and apathy) weighing one down. There are people out there, screaming everyday even with their lips sealed, going through real things; life is just one big bully slapping faces unexpectedly.

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This goes out to all screamers, we hear you, we care, and you are not alone.
Tap a screamer today, we are everywhere, your course-mate, brother, sister, bunk-mate, room-mate, the ever smiling friend… cause you never know what really is behind that smile.

Can any one relate to this ?

R.I.P Patrick Akano and Happy Birthday!!
If you can read this, your brother @Lex_469 says “Rest in peace, I know there is a party in heaven for you”

If you enjoyed reading, please follow/subscribe to this blog and make use of the comment box.
Share your thought as the souls of our loved ones who have passed, Rest in Peace.

R.I.P Grandpa. ♥

But then, this is what I think, what do I know?

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