Her Story, XL

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

Today’s story was sent in by one of our readers who has asked to stay Anonymous.

This is her story.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile

*sigh* I absolutely suck at writing, but I had to do this.

My childhood was a very fair one, we were not absolutely broke and we were not at the top either. Sometimes, we struggled, sometimes, we didn’t, I mean financially. My parents were not fighting but, my dad never really stayed with us, for work’s sake. Growing up, I never had serious prayer points. I guess my “most serious” prayer point was new clothes and shoes and stuff. I didn’t even see the need to pray about academic excellence. I still don’t see the need for that.

Okay, my story, I was raped at age 17. *sigh* I still can’t explain how fast I got over that, but honestly, my parents still don’t believe… don’t believe that I’m over it, not like I ever discussed it with them after the incident. It was in the summer of 2010 and it happened, when robbers attacked my house, I just got back from church. Apparently, I prayed before I was raped… prayed for God to have his way and avoid the act. I wouldn’t say he refused, or I didn’t have enough faith. I mean, you’re about to be raped… what sort of faith could even exist at such a time. But you know, God can’t be blamed, so I’ll still say my faith wasn’t enough.

For a while, I doubted if God really did exist… if Heaven is real, or if Hell is something one very stupid person came up with to scare her children. I honestly didn’t believe in any religion for a while.

I guess I would have been a “keep your virginity till your marriage” kind of person but, whatever… right now, I’m not a slut but I honestly don’t mind having sex. It bothers me not. But sadly, all the “boys” that claim to like me actually don’t… I mean, you have sex with them and then, they care less about you. I have not felt loved at all in my life. I don’t even believe my female friends like me. Sometimes, I think I’m a burden to everyone and so I just try to excuse myself from their businesses. Most times I look for an escape but, I have none. My escape for now is music because I don’t even know what I’m good at, what I love doing, I don’t know my talent, I don’t know myself.

My dad still does not stay with us… P.S my parents are not separated. I have an ewwwy relationship with my mum, and this is because I’m fucked up in every way. She does not have to do anything to annoy me… it hurts me to say that my own mother irritates/pisses me off most times. Please don’t misunderstand me. I really do love her but, that feeling is uncontrollable. I mean, i just find myself… Pssst, never mind! I try to take that feeling away most times but then, nothing happens.

I don’t even get myself, sorry this is more like nagging and shit… tolerate this “ME”. I have a lot in my head that I can’t comprehend by myself or even get out. I just go moody a times and I try to have that one man conversation that brings a bit of healing but nothing… my dear, nothing. I have no one to talk to because I can’t get this nothingness out of my head… so what is there to talk about. My friends complain when I go all quiet and moody and shit, but honestly, it can’t be helped *sigh* I don’t mean that I’m a very moody person, I mean… I have extreme mood issues. When I’m happy, it’s usually on the positive extreme, and when I’m moody…. negative extreme.

I probably just need a shrink. I mean, someone i don’t need to tell anything but can tell me what exactly is wrong with me, what I don’t know is wrong with me, what I need… blah blah blah.

I’m not smiling right now, so, this is beneath my straight face. 😐

• • •

Don’t just read, say a PRAYER. Go ahead. Encourage another. Pray.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Tomorrow’s ’Her Story, XLI’ by an Anonymous writer

You can still send in your own true stories to obafuntay@gmail.com

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Her Story, XXXIX

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

Today’s story was sent in by one of our readers who has asked to stay Anonymous.

This is his story.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile

March 31st, 2011
I was in a class, my phone rang, I checked th caller I.D and it was my dad. I ducked under the table (as a boss) to take d call…

Me: Hello Daddy, how are you? 😀
Dad: Your friend is DEAD!
Me: huh???????
Dad: Yes, Imoks just died.

I was literally speechless, my hands went numb, my whole body seemed to shut down. Next thing I remember was tears freely running down my face and everyone in class asking me what the problem was.

Let me make things clear, Imoks was just a friend/family friend/church member. He was really involved in church work, my guy slept, breathed and spoke the word of God. He exuded some sort of aura that only comes from constant communication with God. The same goes for his mom who’s a minister of God. Imoks died as a result of his crisis (Sickle cell anaemia).

Let me explain: I’ve always been a happy child, always laughing, very cheerful, and intelligent and a deep thinker. As a little child, I could ‘see’ things, whenever something was going to happen in my family, I would be the first to foresee it n SHARPLY inform my mum so she can pray about it. well that ability has disappeared though :(. First of four (4) children and I’ve e got just one sister. While growing up, we weren’t so rich, but we were well taken care of. My parents have always shown us more than enough love and done everything possible to provide for us.

My baby sister is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. She can be troublesome and mischievous (attributes I possess as well), still one just can’t help but love her. Unfortunately she was always quite sickly. She’s not ‘SS’ oh. Sometimes she would be admitted in the hospital for days and the hospital bills cost a lot, the emotional and physiological strain it was having on my parents couldn’t be over-emphasised. Because I’ve always been too mature for my age, I could see it all.

January 4th 2009,
we were getting ready for 1st sunday thanksgiving service and my baby sister had done something to irk me (as usual), I was already planning how to teach her a lesson (as I always say), my parents have never condoned me beating my younger ones sha, but all the same I still planned to beat her. I was running after her in the sitting room, she was laughing and screaming. Next thing I heard was my dad’s voice calling my name. In my head I am like ‘Daddy loves my sister more than me, he’s obviously coming to her rescue’. Well I went to his summons, I marched into his room fuming. As I entered the room, I saw d LOOK on my parents face, look of pain, suffering, my parents were both in tears, I couldn’t understand what they were crying for.

Then my mum said ‘Your sister is HIV positive’ *echos*

My head still spins everytime I remember those words.

I cried!!!
I still cry!!!
I cry cause my baby sister has done nothing to deserve such, I cry cause of the plenty drugs she has to keep taking, I cry cause of the pain it causes my parents, I cry cause I am scared for her future…
I just cryyyyyy… and I am crying as I write this 🙂

I don’t need no pity, neither does my baby sister. My parents have pulled themselves together and they stay fighting it together. It has made them hold steadfast to God and His word and as for me, I don’t know where I stand.

A part of me still believes ‘It is well’ and another part just can’t understand ‘WHY?!’
I mean my baby sister was barely 10 when it was discovered that she had HIV. Isn’t she too young to be made to suffer?

So when I received the call that Imoks was dead, I wept both for him, and for my family, I don’t want to receive another call saying that my sister is dead. Noooooo!…..Imoks had faith, he firmly believed in God and still he died of Sickle cell anaemia. I am not doubting God but its hard for me not to.

Well to God be the Glory, my sister is hale and hearty except for occasional bouts of sickness. My 2 brothers don’t know what’s going on, even my sister doesn’t know, all she knows is she takes her medication (my parents told her they are vitamins 🙂 ). I thank God for the life of my parents, they keep a smiling face but beneath their smile…

As for me, I school abroad and everytime I get a call from my parents, I dread them telling me something bad has happened. People find it extremely easy to open up to me and tell me personal things, they all think I have it easy. One guy told me recently that I’ve always had it easy. I just smiled. Because only I know how heavy my heart is…

Beneath my smile is a 19yr old, who is seeking answers..
Who doesn’t want to be told that his baby sister is dead or anything like that.

Enough of my story… Thanks to @ObaFuntAy for this ‘Beneath the Smile’ project. Until now, I’ve NEVER told anyone what exactly is in my heart. I can’t even explain how much liver I had to chop  and ‘ciking’ I had to do to myself before I could write this and all I ask for are your PRAYERS.

God bless you all 🙂

• • •

Don’t just read, say a PRAYER. Go ahead. Encourage another. Pray.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Tomorrow’s  ’Her Story, XXXIX’ by an Anonymous writer

You can still send in your own true stories to obafuntay@gmail.com

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Her Story, XXVI by @sisi_OPE

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

Today’s story was sent in by one of our readers @sisi_OPE

This is her story.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile

So, having read all the Beneath the Smile series, I decided to write my story too! My name is Ope, 23 years old this year, I’m the 9th child of my Dad, the 3rd of my Mum and the 1st of the union of my Mum and Dad (quite complex I know).

My story is somewhat similar to Moji’s {Her Story, VIII by @SkuSskus}. I got to know about to know my genotype at the age of 7 thereabout, my Mum being a single parent took it upon herself not to believe her child was Sickle Cell Anaemic, so we decided to ignore it since I never had any crisis growing up until I was in SS1 (after my mum died).

I had to move to my Dad’s, being a polygamist and a politician, he was barely around and when he was, he didn’t have time for any child though he made all of us extremely comfortable. All this while, my crisis was still mild up until 100 level. I came to face the reality of being a sickle-cell patient. My crisis was rampant and extremely painful! I was scared of going home on breaks ’cause I knew I’d end up in the hospital.

During one Christmas holiday, I got 32 drips and 22 injections and of course 4 pints of blood. I was always in pain that I became numb to injections, transfusions became a routine. I thought I was going to die. I stopped taking my medications just because I wanted to feel like a normal child without having to depend on medication all my life!
The trips to the health center and hospital were very frequent and I was even referred to as the ‘landlady of the private ward’ by one of the matrons (very mean of her..lool). My hospital bills were in six digits. I would wake my friends who would go all the way to my sister’s wing to wake her since she was my angel on earth that has gotten used to my crisis and knows exactly what to do. During all of my crisis, I cried to God to heal me. I was scared of my future, my child-bearing, my relationships.

At this point, I denied being SS to most people, silently wondering to myself ‘why you would even ask someone that…isn’t it obvious?’. I found it hard to keep up eye contacts just because I felt bad about the ‘yellowish’ discoloration of my eyes. I thought no one knew how I felt and the thoughts going on in my mind had a lot to do with my future. My relationships suffered cause I thought they would all leave me at the end of the day, or worse I would ‘leave’.

But! I got my healing this year (January 19th to be precise) during one of the services! I told God I was not leaving Covenant University with Sickle Cell Anaemia. I haven’t done my tests yet to be assured, but I key into Romans 4:20 and I believe my faith has made me whole.

Therefore, Goodbye Sickle Cell Anaemia!

This is my story that has hidden Beneath My Smile. 🙂

• • •

Don’t just read, say a prayer.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Today’s ’His Story, XIX’ by An Anonymous writer (4pm)

You can still send in your own true stories to obafuntay@gmail.com

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Come, Let’s Reason Together

I found this on Facebook, and I thought I’d share. TAKE TIME TO READ…. It’s worth reading, trust me 🙂

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Subscribe to this blog and Share this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

What did they do wrong?

What did they do wrong? was the first question that ran through my head as I looked at this people who came into this world they same way I did.

iTried to put myself in their shoes and i got blank! iWont survive. The thought of it alone was terrifying. … .We look at them and think OMG! pity! … how ‘wronger’ could we get!? These people are the strongest people i have ever come across! We need more help than they do. They know without a doubt that they are going to make it

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

iCan walk , talk, n just wear an Underwear without putting on a Diaper and yet iStill complain! I was engulfed in shame! How ungrateful I’ve been. A man in wheel chair came to sing a special number n everywhere became silent… if a needle had dropped it would have disrupted the moment. it was simply beautiful! The words and vocal were mind-blowing! My head pounding, goose bumps   this same feeling came back again when a girl, who paints with her legs (her painting are sooo fresh) gave the ‘vote of thanks’. Talking was strenuous, her whole body was trembling … it was sad. … .but that’s  not were the story ends… against all odds she talked and iGot motivated!, Encouraged! So did everyone else in that hall. She spoke though with obvious disability yet had in her the ability to speak and reach my soul, my heart.

I’ll never forget her words hung on my neck like a golden chain I dare not remove.

God has given this people gifts … Ability in Disability…

We have a lot to be grateful for! Start thanking God now!