Child Musings ii


Remember Child Musings written by @Jetttson that we all enjoyed, well, in case you missed out on it, read it Here. Yes, just click the “Here”. Now, we present to you the ever funny Child Musing ii by @jetttson again.


First off… I thank you all for all the comments… re-tweets… “LOLs”… “LMAOOOOOs”… “LWKMDs” etc… I appreciate gaan ^_^… I am most especially grateful to bev (@shytalkative) and @ObaFuntAy… they helped out a lot (although they didn’t correct my gbagauns in the previous post >.>)… anyway… without further ado… I present child musings…….
Part II
Mrs Okoro looked me in the eye and frowned… “At your age you’re still pupuing on yourself… shame on you… ”… I let out silent tears… “See how your class mates are laughing at you… anyway I can’t let you walk around with all this shit… so you’ll have to wear the girls’ uniform till your daddy comes”… “Please ma… no” “WILL YOU SHUT UP… DID I TELL YOU TO SHIT ON YOURSELF?! ” “please ma… pleaaaaaaaasssssssssseee” she lifts her hand to slap me but the matron interrupts… “Take it easy Mrs Okoro… he’s just a child” “A very stupid child… please take him inside and change his uniform” she takes me in gently “you’re lucky… I was going to slap your ears off” (thought: you should have done it… see if I won’t put you in an arm lock)… inside… I tried to persuade the matron to let me stay with her until school was over… I’m sure she would have agreed if not for Mrs Okoro’s frequent howling… she dressed me up quickly and took me out… as I stepped out I noticed a smirk on Mrs Okoro’s face (thought: my God will judge you)… she took me to the class and even before we entered my class mates were already peeping out to see the new citizen of Scotland… Mrs Okoro stepped back and gestured for me to enter the class alone (thought:

I summoned courage and proceeded into the class on my own… heart breaking laughter filled my ears… my God what did I do wrong… WHAT?!… Mrs Okoro steps in “don’t you know your seat again?!” she still had 30 minutes so she went on teaching… using me as a point of reference any time she had the chance… she
even told me to go to the girls side when it was time for quiz… all the while I silently prayed the undertaker would come out from the ground and give Mrs Okoro a befitting choke slam… she left the class 15 minutes early… just enough time to get tortured… all my class mates were getting ready to pick on me and then… when I least expected it… the school bell rang (thought: ^_^ thank you Jehovah… I am forever gratef…) the bell rang again and again and again… the bell rang four times… this could only mean one thing… assembly! (Thought: Jesus I’m still ready… you can still take me)… I was going to leave the class last but two hefty boys dragged me out “LEAVE ME ALONNEEEEE” (translation: pick on someone your own size you premature gorillas)… they both declined and carried on… dragging me to the assembly front….they drooped me just before we got there and left… I thought about running away but I couldn’t… not with all these teachers around… I walked hurriedly to the space assigned to my class… hopefully no one would notice… It worked until the girl whose name I wrote down in the noisemakers list (you should remember her from part one) screamed “MAYOWA WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY SKIRT?!” the little bitch… all because of a stupid noisemakers list… all the students turned around and stared… they didn’t laugh or anything (I wasn’t so popular)… then I started walking again (fuck up)… they all noticed my struggle walk whilst wearing the skirt (it’s the sort of walk you’ll get if 50 cent ever wears a kilt ) mehn you should have seen the way they laughed and pointed immediately they noticed I was a boy… even the not-so-cool kids laughed… I just stayed where I was and didn’t venture to go any further… the teachers were compassionate enough to let me stay there… the impromptu assembly had been called because there was a shoot-out going on outside between the police and some hoodlums so we were asked to stay in school for a while longer

The actual fuck… how could all these things be happening today… how?!… Something is wrong somewhere… I made way to the class… the things these evil children did and said to me… I actually had to cross my leg like a girl because some asshole peeped under the desk to see my panties (karma is a bitch -_-)… another one drew this and pasted it on the board

… even when I wanted to go to the toilet one primate threatened to follow me to play mummy and daddy with me (I saw him holding hands with a light skinned man some days back)… these children didn’t let up one bit… they took all my notes and added a “Mrs.” Just before my name… then news got out that the shoot-out was over and we could all go home… (Thought: it took you this long to hear me Jesus) but before I even stepped out Mrs Okoro entered the class with a new short for me… I did this to her in my mind

I just had this feeling Mrs. Okoro had somehow joined forces with some babalawo and had today planned out
Today is worst day of my life… this was all I had on my mind as I made my way to the school gate to meet my father… I considered running away from Nigeria… I wondered how much an okada man would charge to take me London… my dad smiles and asks “how was school today?” I was going to tell him all that happened but Mrs Okoro had threatened to make me wear a feminine uniform for the rest of my stay in primary school if I did… “Fine” I force a smile… as we went through the school gate I had just one thought……

The end.
p.s. I think the girl that screamed my name was @i_annette… I think >_>

Tale of a Little Child [Down By The Riverside]

The view was great especially during the evenings: the sunset was usually rosy and radiant, calming yet inviting. You could feel its friendliness as though calling upon you to come closer; it was just a sight to behold. This was where I grew up. Everything was peaceful; you could almost hear the crashing of waves and the rhythmic sound of the ocean. I had never been away from The Riverside, never seen the outside world. I felt bounded because the only thing I could see was the horizon from beyond. Most often, Traders and Sailors came around with shipments filled with Western clothing, foods, books and several other things which were foreign. They even had toys too :). I was poor, so I never really had anything given to me besides food and good clothes. It’s just exciting to see all of us children run down to shore whenever the men from the outside world came.

I loved to play with my friends. “Hide and Seek” was our favorite game. My favorite hideout was behind the bushes where no one ever checked but sometimes I would opt to hide behind the rocks when at the beach. I usually picked sea shells too. I had collected thousands of them in the hope that I would be able to exchange them for toys whenever the men came. I had two siblings we didn’t get to see much of each other but it was always fun when they were home.

One night while we were playing in the moonlight, a ship docked. We went to see if it was the usual men because I thought they were due to return the next week as usual. I immediately grabbed my basket filled with shells I had gathered and ran to the Port. My friends ordered for me to return that instant but I refused. I began seeing people being pushed into waiting ships. What was happening? I couldn’t tell. I tried to get closer as I hid behind the rocks on the shores. It was a full moon but the light didn’t seem enough, rather it was blurry. I didn’t move any closer as I saw my friends in the distance. They seemed to be shaking their heads; yeah they disapproved me being inquisitive.

As I walked towards a bunch of reproachful faces, I couldn’t stop looking back at the men being pushed into the ships. I sought an explanation and it came to me, “The New World”! On second thought, I wondered if the men were tired of staying here at the Riverside. I scowled for a moment, I hope not. My friends laughed at the idea of the men being taken to The New World, but seconds later they all rested their hands on their cheeks dreamily. I shook my head in disbelief and immediately assumed the same position as them. That was all we ever dreamed about; when we were older we made a pact to leave our poor remote Island. Soon we returned to playing our games and forgot all about what had happened.

Later that night, I eagerly told my mama about what had happened. She seemed stunned and broke down, that wasn’t the reaction I expected. She should have been happy they were taking the men to The New World. She walked towards the wall and looked at the picture of a man hanging from our mud hut in our poorly lit room. She was crying so I asked her what happened. She found it difficult to say anything, so I asked if my father was ever taken in one of the ships down at The Riverside. She nodded her head and wiped away her tears with the edge of her wrapper. I knew the answer already; I just wasn’t sure why I decided to ask. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends, I was sure Bola, Seyi, Deola, Dayo, Shola, Ife, Eze, Titi and Naomi would all be jealous by the time I told them my father had been to the New World before :). Mamma didn’t say a thing and I soon returned to playing moonlit games. Every day I would go down by The Riverside, hoping one day the men would take me away in their ship to their own world, just the thought of that made my face light up with a smile. I was going to the see the world beyond the one I grew in. I ran to shore, I could see the ship in the distance. They were soon out of sight. Until then, I intended to enjoy my childhood maybe they would take me away one day.



#MyThought –> How blissful it was to be a child, having not to worry and think about all these many things that dance all up in my head now. The innocence back then was without blemish and yes! We all were once as naive as the little girl in the story.  :p

Thank you for reading! 😀 Please make use of the “Thought box” below and tell us your own naive childhood tale. Yes! You have one! #GodisWatchingYou