To the Deaf and Dumb

So this poem was sent in my a fellow @SmileCare member who attended the Wesley school for the hearing impaired outreach.


Source: Google

I wish it was no concern of mine,
But yet I wish that you would try
To teach the hand the tongue’s strange art
To tell the stories of the heart.

For you have never heard a sound,
Have never uttered a word with the tongue
The music of your looks, nor found
A voice their sweetness to prolong.
I’ve seen what you too could see,
The calm,  The motion and the breeze
Of  various elements combined  but yet free,
to satisfy the cravings of our eyes

I’ve seen what you have seen, the sky
As pure as innocence could make it,
As blue and bright as beauty’s eye,
With not a tearful wink to shake it.
Ask not for words in such an hour,
nor the ear’s listening power.

Sense is not competent to tell
The striving of the bound soul;
Thoughts high as heaven and deep as hell,
Will awfully around it roll;
And words are violations that dare
Its fearful workings to declare

@Baby_Shamzy thinking on obafuntay(dot)com

This is my #NotetoSelf


Two friends were walking on the street, joking and laughing, and then one jokingly pushed the other….

Tare: Oooh funto,cuz am light abi, dont evn think u are strong..

Funto: what!! that small push and ur complaining

Tare: Ehn!, small push! unno wat, i’ll give you 100k if you push yourself

Funto: Woow! how possible is that! i can do it sha,small thing..

If you think about it, the hardest thing to push is yourself…Even if you are the World’s strongest man or you are as weak as a two-year old, it takes something special to push yourself.

The reason why people often find themselves in a particular place or position for a while is because they find it difficult to propel themselves forward (you have a lot to do on a particular day, yet u are having a difficult time getting out of the bed, in…

View original post 289 more words

Hello Vanity

Source: Google

Today I'm in church, yesterday I was drunk
The preacher has no idea, to him I'm a monk 
But for a heads turn many exams I'd have flunked
Far below .. Deep, I have sunk 

One more step and there'll be no return
I'm chasing I'm chasing 
A thin line I'm tracing  
These "things" I seek, these "things" I cherish 
When I'm gone, these things will Perish

Money, houses, beauty, cars 
Even though we can't reach .. We sell the stars 
What is the meaning? .. What is the point?
Why we fill our glass ..why we roll a joint 

Fancy cars and expensive clothes
Annoying init how they don't join us in growth 
So we grow and we move on 
Ever searching for a new thrill.. For new fun 
My brother there's nothing new under this sun

Vanity upon vanity so the bible says 
At the end of the road we would part ways 
Me and my new car, you and your cool clothes 
Instead of our time to God we pray.. 

We go online and "I'm bored",we say
I'm no saint .. U bet your left eye, I stray
But then I wonder.. Look out my window and stare into yonder 
Life's quality, how then do we measure?  
Because Some kids can't afford boredom to them its a treasure

You see, boredom is a luxury, absence of usual pleasure 
Henceforth, I'll slow down, let me give u the low down
The important things I'll appreciate
My worries I'll elevate high to Him whom with, more I should relate

Empty things and meaningless treasure 
For want of such we heap on our heads enormous pressure
I hope therefore, my point I've made
Vanity upon vanity ... Everything will fade

- @seuntomas thinking on ObaFuntAy(dot)com

FEAR by (@Carltonkene)

Sweat streaming down from your head to your neck, hands shaking, over thinking and all others, my dear you have come down with a case of fear.


Many of us HUH! All of us have had a time with fear so I would not bother defining just a four letter word. From the President to the beggar on the street, everyone gets that feeling.  Whether it is a good feeling or not it is up to you.

According to history (or cartoon that I love watching) fire started because ancient man struck one stone on another. Now people with common sense y would u think man carried out that act, as for me i feel man was not bored and started playing with stone NO, he must have tried to sharpen a stone, for fear of being eaten, to use to protect his or herself and so after trying to sharpen the stone there was a spark and like magic fire started.

A negative view  can be seen in an exam hall during exam for fear of failure or disappointment he/she tries to cheat and in so doing gets caught or those of you (me too ) who want to do something but end up not doing it because of fear of one thing or the other.

Some fears can be avoided by doing the right thing at the right time. And if you can READ I don’t think i need to tell you what is right from what is wrong.

Fear continued…

I have come to realize that fear has so many names, most of the time they are followed by the word @phobia lol which is ‘fear of something’ here are some phobia’s: Botanophobia – fear of plants,

Most of us are guilty

Trypanophobia – fear of needles or injections, Somniphobia – fear of sleep etc. See this one:

Who no go fear?

Stygiophobia – fear of Hell, even fear of having fear is Phobophobia,

Phobophobia! … TF!?

there is even fear for countries lol Sinophobia – fear of Chinese in future there could be Nigeriophobia (Never).
But what fascinates me is babies show no sign of fear to what we as adults will see, and take to our heels. My mum told me about how a snake wrapped round a baby’s leg and the baby didn’t let out a scream but it is funny how if you bring a clown near babies there is a high tendency for them to cry due to fear, (i later found out it is Coulrophobia – fear of clowns) , oh and for people who love gist, the baby didn’t die. For more info contact: My Mother

As a Christian i have been taught that as a being, i should not fear because it is a way for the enemy to attack and well fear is good at rendering someone defenseless.

To end this, I would say you should only overcome your fear and not let it have the best of you. P.S only fear GOD. So for those of you who are reading this and are on twitter don’t show fear and follow @carltonkene

Have a FEAR free day!
#QuickQuestion 1. What phobia do you have?

#QuickQuestion 2. What’s your greatest fear?

Thank you for reading. Please make use of the comment box and answer today’s #QuickQuestions


Hello Beautiful People.

Please enjoy Mr. Alariwo himself ranting… Cameras by @Ayob_






OK! I know we all love these pictures right?

Yeah I love them too 🙂 but does this mean everyone should carry a
camera around the neck, even when you are not aspiring to become a Pro
Photographer, even if you are aspiring to be one, should you now
carry it about 24/7?

Basically in Nigeria we bastardize things, for instance let’s talk
about twitter… Nigerians have carried it on their head… the site was
meant for interacting, entertainment, marketing and also to spread
info easily.

Now we have things like:

“I must have 1000 followers this month” or arguments like “how many
tweets do you have sef ?” or “I have more followers than you do” or
threats like “if you don’t follow back I would swear for you” In my
school (cu) or let me say the school I went to

Yeah! I AM GRADUATING TODAY (June 29th,2012)

Yay!!! … Trends in cu are so annoying & Trendy ^_^ let me re-cap

My year one… paratrooper’s outfit were the order of the day.  A friend
of mine once used it to safe land from the 4th floor when the popo
(revo) came searching when he was stabbing one of the chapel

My year 2 was a great transformation as TM- shirts or let me say
“tails” were the trendy trend. The want and need to be known or in
lame man’s term “among” made people like my classmate Rotimi telling his
tailor “Broda Karma” to sew him a shirt with tail tagged and named TM

My year 3 was a weird and PRETTY sad one as the sexuality of our
male gender gradually drifted to that of the feminine , skinny
trousers, sling bags and flowery shirts were the must have of the

“Farok the great” stole his sister’s flowery shirt, skinny pants and
sling bag and started feeling fly with them… unfortunately she is a
size 6 and in female sizing u can call him a size 8 or maybe 10
sef…Huh? how he managed to wear it all along I don’t know Even thick
guys like “Sunday” followed this trend *imagine the sight*. Thank GOD
for our DSA at the moment who stopped the madness the next session…
S/0 to Mr. Muyiwa Fadugba

The other time, a dude used his shoelace as his tie all because he
just had to follow the ‘slim tie’ trend… blushes by ladies is another
very serious thing that should be tackled… aha ahan you are BLACK so
why a thick red blush again *confused smiley* . Sighs* DonJazzy
started the Pyjamas madness but hello he is a celeb + he had a reason
for it (thou the reason was stupid sha), but cu boys decided to carry
it on their shoulder. Chukwudi the other day was even wearing a every
transparent one, his red boxers was showing… I’m sure it was a sewn
pj smh!!

My year 4 *sighs* a very expensive one… I had to sell all my clothes
and shoes just because I wanted to buy an 18 inches Brazilian hair
(150k) for the classy “senator’s daughter” girlfriend of mine -_-.
You see want happens when you go for the upper class of the society. I
also had to buy a copy of the Beats Headphones (40k) for my Stolen
itouch (free) … thou I was not into sound engineering or anything
music related … Huh, am I stupid? Nooo!!!! It was a fashion/technology
trend *Big Grin*

Now my year 5.. the Ipad…*sighs* I almost sold my younger brother so I
could purchase this, ladies so much flocked around a dude with the iPad
n I wanted to be that dude 😦 ….then it was the whole Vintage/ Colour
Blinding Blocking ish … My friend Ozozo had to wear his 6years old brother’s trouser in
order to achieve the whole jumpy trousers stunt to it… then Ankara
trousers, I actually think this is a good concept and all ,because I’m
all into African effect and all but CU boys can’t just allow something
be sha… Imagine Ankara trousers with a Red Suit and yes what’s with
boys and weird colours imagine a Purple, Pink, red or even lemon
trousers and now it’s hanging professional camera around… Have you
weighed those cameras, soon you neck would be Gym(d) up . I saw Tunji
at ikeja and he specifically at the shop i saw him told them that he
wanted to buy a SPOILT Professional camera… y ? so he could add it to
his daily dressing accessories I guess 🙂  .

Be Trendy, not just because it is trendy, but because it fits you or
suits your person, body or personality and if it doesn’t move on to a
better trend or better still start your own trend J

I tell my friends when they yab me about my style or pattern of life..
“ I define fashion and my way of life Jor “


@ayob_ reporting for Alariwo


@ayob_ is the Editor of a famous Blog site and rants on his personal blog .you can all catch him there.

Source of Pictures:

DISCLAIMER: All the names and stories used where all imagined and formulated

Child Musings ii


Remember Child Musings written by @Jetttson that we all enjoyed, well, in case you missed out on it, read it Here. Yes, just click the “Here”. Now, we present to you the ever funny Child Musing ii by @jetttson again.


First off… I thank you all for all the comments… re-tweets… “LOLs”… “LMAOOOOOs”… “LWKMDs” etc… I appreciate gaan ^_^… I am most especially grateful to bev (@shytalkative) and @ObaFuntAy… they helped out a lot (although they didn’t correct my gbagauns in the previous post >.>)… anyway… without further ado… I present child musings…….
Part II
Mrs Okoro looked me in the eye and frowned… “At your age you’re still pupuing on yourself… shame on you… ”… I let out silent tears… “See how your class mates are laughing at you… anyway I can’t let you walk around with all this shit… so you’ll have to wear the girls’ uniform till your daddy comes”… “Please ma… no” “WILL YOU SHUT UP… DID I TELL YOU TO SHIT ON YOURSELF?! ” “please ma… pleaaaaaaaasssssssssseee” she lifts her hand to slap me but the matron interrupts… “Take it easy Mrs Okoro… he’s just a child” “A very stupid child… please take him inside and change his uniform” she takes me in gently “you’re lucky… I was going to slap your ears off” (thought: you should have done it… see if I won’t put you in an arm lock)… inside… I tried to persuade the matron to let me stay with her until school was over… I’m sure she would have agreed if not for Mrs Okoro’s frequent howling… she dressed me up quickly and took me out… as I stepped out I noticed a smirk on Mrs Okoro’s face (thought: my God will judge you)… she took me to the class and even before we entered my class mates were already peeping out to see the new citizen of Scotland… Mrs Okoro stepped back and gestured for me to enter the class alone (thought:

I summoned courage and proceeded into the class on my own… heart breaking laughter filled my ears… my God what did I do wrong… WHAT?!… Mrs Okoro steps in “don’t you know your seat again?!” she still had 30 minutes so she went on teaching… using me as a point of reference any time she had the chance… she
even told me to go to the girls side when it was time for quiz… all the while I silently prayed the undertaker would come out from the ground and give Mrs Okoro a befitting choke slam… she left the class 15 minutes early… just enough time to get tortured… all my class mates were getting ready to pick on me and then… when I least expected it… the school bell rang (thought: ^_^ thank you Jehovah… I am forever gratef…) the bell rang again and again and again… the bell rang four times… this could only mean one thing… assembly! (Thought: Jesus I’m still ready… you can still take me)… I was going to leave the class last but two hefty boys dragged me out “LEAVE ME ALONNEEEEE” (translation: pick on someone your own size you premature gorillas)… they both declined and carried on… dragging me to the assembly front….they drooped me just before we got there and left… I thought about running away but I couldn’t… not with all these teachers around… I walked hurriedly to the space assigned to my class… hopefully no one would notice… It worked until the girl whose name I wrote down in the noisemakers list (you should remember her from part one) screamed “MAYOWA WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY SKIRT?!” the little bitch… all because of a stupid noisemakers list… all the students turned around and stared… they didn’t laugh or anything (I wasn’t so popular)… then I started walking again (fuck up)… they all noticed my struggle walk whilst wearing the skirt (it’s the sort of walk you’ll get if 50 cent ever wears a kilt ) mehn you should have seen the way they laughed and pointed immediately they noticed I was a boy… even the not-so-cool kids laughed… I just stayed where I was and didn’t venture to go any further… the teachers were compassionate enough to let me stay there… the impromptu assembly had been called because there was a shoot-out going on outside between the police and some hoodlums so we were asked to stay in school for a while longer

The actual fuck… how could all these things be happening today… how?!… Something is wrong somewhere… I made way to the class… the things these evil children did and said to me… I actually had to cross my leg like a girl because some asshole peeped under the desk to see my panties (karma is a bitch -_-)… another one drew this and pasted it on the board

… even when I wanted to go to the toilet one primate threatened to follow me to play mummy and daddy with me (I saw him holding hands with a light skinned man some days back)… these children didn’t let up one bit… they took all my notes and added a “Mrs.” Just before my name… then news got out that the shoot-out was over and we could all go home… (Thought: it took you this long to hear me Jesus) but before I even stepped out Mrs Okoro entered the class with a new short for me… I did this to her in my mind

I just had this feeling Mrs. Okoro had somehow joined forces with some babalawo and had today planned out
Today is worst day of my life… this was all I had on my mind as I made my way to the school gate to meet my father… I considered running away from Nigeria… I wondered how much an okada man would charge to take me London… my dad smiles and asks “how was school today?” I was going to tell him all that happened but Mrs Okoro had threatened to make me wear a feminine uniform for the rest of my stay in primary school if I did… “Fine” I force a smile… as we went through the school gate I had just one thought……

The end.
p.s. I think the girl that screamed my name was @i_annette… I think >_>

Childhood Musings

Hi… I’m Mayowa and this is my very first attempt at a blog. I have always wanted to write one but I could never find a suitable topic until I happened to pass my primary school one faithful day.

The dreadful memories bolted back into my head. Now this story mortifies me but I’m a strong person and I have moved on (lie). Before I go on I’ll like to tell you a little about myself (wait, please don’t close the page 😥 I am 32(lie), no wife, no kids, 19000+ tweets (#winning)… now I tell my sad tale…..  Ah yes! One more thing …I was 4 when the events of this day took place… this isn’t exactly what happened… in other words this story is 75% true.


DADDY PWWWWEASE”… he’s going to do it again… he’s going to abandon me in this animal pen (school) what did I ever do to this man to deserve such cruel faith?!… Besides I just got discharged from the hospital… I’m not ready for this struggle place just yet *he attempts to bolt but I grab hold of his left leg… he tries to wiggle free and fails…

Source: Google

Mayowa please… I just want to get gala for you… I’ll be back” “NOOOOO” (translation: just how stupid do you think I am nigga?) “Don’t you want to see your friends?” “I DON’T HAFF FRIENDS *wail” (translation: I don’t associate with retards)… “Stop lying mayo…. ” he spots a teacher heading towards us… I notice her too… “Good morning sir… he’s trying to skip school again eh?” my father smiles “good morning… yes… please take him in for me” she attempts to grab me but I kick out wildly (thought: stay away from me you shit faced troll)… she frowns “you don’t really like school… Do you?”… Silence (thought: captain obvious ! -_-)… “Why don’t you like school? … Don’t you want to grow up to be rich and famous like bill gates?

silence (thought: he dropped out of school!)…

“DADDY TAKE ME HOME”… they both laugh out loud “don’t worry sir you can go” “Mayowa I’m going to leave you with the nice la…” I notice the gateman leave his post leaving the school gate wide open… ”this is my chance” I release my father from my hold “Can I make it?!” the teacher reaches out for my hand “can she run?!” she’s a few inches away “will she chase me?!” I start to make my move “will she catch me?!” I feel her touch… I bolted as fast as my little legs could carry me… my father screamed my name but I didn’t reply… I’m close to the gate now… I can see people outside… I’m almost out I’m going to make it… I’m really going to make it…… I fall down (thought: damn!)… The teacher approaches me and drags me into the school premises… we pass my father… he waves and heads towards the gate… *silence*


The next 5 hours of school were slow and painful… the stupid teacher from this morning had gone around telling teachers and even students about my tragic ordeal (they all had a good laugh)… and during break this girl had her 8 year old brother steal the meat from my lunch box simply because I wrote her name down in the noise makers list (I almost put up a “if found please return” sign for that meat) … but it didn’t matter anymore… school was going to be over in one hour… my last hurdle for the day was going to be a math’s class… this is where the wahala starts… you see I hate mathematics with a passion and it’s simply because of I’m about to tell you… brace yourselves…

Mrs Okoro… the mathematics teacher enters and immediately wrote “9 X 10=” on the chalk board… I’m barely paying attention because all I could think of was going home… I start to imagine all the things I’m going to do once I get home… eat… play with my lego… I begin to smile and Mrs Okoro notices “YOU… Stand up and answer the question on the board” I snap back to reality and see her looking in my direction… I look back (you see I’m usually very coy and quiet so the teachers rarely call me) “ARE YOU STUPID?! IS IT NOT YOU I’M TALKING TO…? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING BACK?” she approaches… in my head I begin to pity the unfortunate student who refuses to answer her (the last thing you want to do as a 4 year old is give mrs Okoro ellla)… she stands in front of me “IS IT NOT YOU I’M TALKING TO?” I smile (you see Mrs Okoro had quarter past 3 eyes so I thought she was talking to the student beside me) she has her Segun Arinze gaze on now (thought: this nigga has signed his death certificate)… she strikes my right cheek with a brilliant backhand ifoti aye… *abrupt silence *Otis scream… real tears(thought: why me Lord?!)… She drags me up taps my ogor and points to the board… I approach the board in tears… I got to the front of the board and my heart skipped 2 beats… I knew if I failed this I was doomed… “Don’t make me come to that board” I pick the chalk and attempt to write what I thought was the answer… fear paralyzes me… she begins to approach me… I can hear her footsteps… (Thought: hear goes nothing… Jesus take control)…  I write what I thought was the most appropriate answer… she’s behind me now *crickets… the whole class explodes with laughter (Thought: bastards… it’s not like you know the answer >.<)… “LOL… so 9X10=11X12…?

That’s what I thought you ehn?” (Thought: Jesus I’m ready… take me now) she asks a student to get her cane… a pile of shit suddenly builds up in my bum “please ma you can’t beat me… I just had surgery on my bum bum” “who are you lying to?” “It’s true ma… I can show you” “show meJ” (Thought: bloody pedophile! >_>) she takes me to the center of the class and we assume the doggy position… “Remove your short” “Ma?!” (Translation: ARE YOU MAD?!) “ARE YOU STUPID…? I SAID REMOVE IT” … she lifts the cane up…. (Hi … please if I’m setting P with you close the page now… this is your bus stop)……  I remove my short hurriedly and reveal the well placed “X” on both sides of my bum… * laughter… Mrs Okoro asks me to pull my short back on… what has this woman done to me… I should hit her… I should shoot he…. I let out a loud fart and dropped… and dropped… and dropped *dramatic pause*sips water… the pile of quality shit that had been building up all this while… the students behind me notice… *laughter… (Plays Asa’s Bibanke)… my plight wasn’t over yet…

Mrs Okoro drags me out to get a new uniform and… and… and… the only uniform they had available was feminine… Mrs Okoro had a choice… let me walk around in my own shit until the school closes or see if I look cute in a feminine uniform… she chose the ….. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2! xoxo

I’m sorry I just can’t go any further *walks away face down… hands in pocket… kicking stones.



Personally, I think if you din’t write down “Names of Noisemakers”  with x2, x3, x4….x7 .. Your childhood sucked! :p

Which option do you think Mrs. Okoro chose? If you were in Mayowa’s shoes, what would you prefer?

Okay, make use of the comment box below! Share your most  memorable embarrassing moment.

Happy Fathers Day!

Tale of a Little Child [Down By The Riverside]

The view was great especially during the evenings: the sunset was usually rosy and radiant, calming yet inviting. You could feel its friendliness as though calling upon you to come closer; it was just a sight to behold. This was where I grew up. Everything was peaceful; you could almost hear the crashing of waves and the rhythmic sound of the ocean. I had never been away from The Riverside, never seen the outside world. I felt bounded because the only thing I could see was the horizon from beyond. Most often, Traders and Sailors came around with shipments filled with Western clothing, foods, books and several other things which were foreign. They even had toys too :). I was poor, so I never really had anything given to me besides food and good clothes. It’s just exciting to see all of us children run down to shore whenever the men from the outside world came.

I loved to play with my friends. “Hide and Seek” was our favorite game. My favorite hideout was behind the bushes where no one ever checked but sometimes I would opt to hide behind the rocks when at the beach. I usually picked sea shells too. I had collected thousands of them in the hope that I would be able to exchange them for toys whenever the men came. I had two siblings we didn’t get to see much of each other but it was always fun when they were home.

One night while we were playing in the moonlight, a ship docked. We went to see if it was the usual men because I thought they were due to return the next week as usual. I immediately grabbed my basket filled with shells I had gathered and ran to the Port. My friends ordered for me to return that instant but I refused. I began seeing people being pushed into waiting ships. What was happening? I couldn’t tell. I tried to get closer as I hid behind the rocks on the shores. It was a full moon but the light didn’t seem enough, rather it was blurry. I didn’t move any closer as I saw my friends in the distance. They seemed to be shaking their heads; yeah they disapproved me being inquisitive.

As I walked towards a bunch of reproachful faces, I couldn’t stop looking back at the men being pushed into the ships. I sought an explanation and it came to me, “The New World”! On second thought, I wondered if the men were tired of staying here at the Riverside. I scowled for a moment, I hope not. My friends laughed at the idea of the men being taken to The New World, but seconds later they all rested their hands on their cheeks dreamily. I shook my head in disbelief and immediately assumed the same position as them. That was all we ever dreamed about; when we were older we made a pact to leave our poor remote Island. Soon we returned to playing our games and forgot all about what had happened.

Later that night, I eagerly told my mama about what had happened. She seemed stunned and broke down, that wasn’t the reaction I expected. She should have been happy they were taking the men to The New World. She walked towards the wall and looked at the picture of a man hanging from our mud hut in our poorly lit room. She was crying so I asked her what happened. She found it difficult to say anything, so I asked if my father was ever taken in one of the ships down at The Riverside. She nodded her head and wiped away her tears with the edge of her wrapper. I knew the answer already; I just wasn’t sure why I decided to ask. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends, I was sure Bola, Seyi, Deola, Dayo, Shola, Ife, Eze, Titi and Naomi would all be jealous by the time I told them my father had been to the New World before :). Mamma didn’t say a thing and I soon returned to playing moonlit games. Every day I would go down by The Riverside, hoping one day the men would take me away in their ship to their own world, just the thought of that made my face light up with a smile. I was going to the see the world beyond the one I grew in. I ran to shore, I could see the ship in the distance. They were soon out of sight. Until then, I intended to enjoy my childhood maybe they would take me away one day.



#MyThought –> How blissful it was to be a child, having not to worry and think about all these many things that dance all up in my head now. The innocence back then was without blemish and yes! We all were once as naive as the little girl in the story.  :p

Thank you for reading! 😀 Please make use of the “Thought box” below and tell us your own naive childhood tale. Yes! You have one! #GodisWatchingYou