Her Story, XVII by @Seyi_Omotoso

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

Today’s story was sent in by one of our readers @Seyi_Omotoso

This is her story.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile

Hey guys,

I have a lot of things hidden behind my pretty smile (at least people tell me I have a pretty smile, but who doesn’t?). I’m just going to share the least serious of them because it gives me the greatest fear for my future.

I was a pretty healthy child, I hardly fell sick, except for malaria which is peculiar to people with AA. I was never admitted in the hospital and I have never had any cause to take drip even up till now. But then, when I was in jss2, I started having this eye-ache, it was terrible. It was just my left eye but it would affect d left side of my whole face, a serious migraine just on my left temple, the left side of my tooth would start aching me, the saliva coming from the left side of my cheek would be different (more like draw soup) and I would feel sick in the stomach. It makes my whole body, weak.

When this ‘eye ache’ comes, I’m usually useless, I can’t get myself to do anything except sleep because the pain weakens my whole system and my eyes are usually very sensitive to light, so I just wear my sleeping mask, draw my curtains, switch off the light and sleep. I told my parents the first time it happened, my mom gave me some drugs and the pain left the next day or so. It didn’t end there, it kept coming back, not always.

Sometimes once a year, sometimes twice or thrice or four times in a year. I didn’t know the cause. I could see properly. I was even convinced I had very sharp eyes cos I could read tiny prints even from afar.

One day when I was in ss2, the pain came back again and my dad took me to the hospital, our doctor told him to take me to the general hospital to see an optician. I just slept at the back of the car throughout the drive. On getting there, I explained to the doctor, he was obviously confused and he was like I stress my eyes too much and that I’ll need to start using glasses. In my head I was like ‘What does glasses have to do with eye pain, eye drops would have even been better’

Anyhow I did the test and I couldn’t see the smaller letters because the ‘eye-ache’ makes my eyes misty, so the doctor was convinced that glasses was the solution. Of course, I wasn’t convinced that glasses was the solution to the ‘eye ache’ so I didn’t wear it regularly plus I was very shy in secondary school and It was weird explaining to people, that I wasn’t long or short-sighted, but that the glasses was for ‘eye ache’.

I got into the university and the pain kept coming back, not always but when it comes, it stays for like 2-4 days and I usually don’t like telling people ’cause there’s always this strange look on their faces like ‘wetin be that?’ So I just sleep it off. My roommates and friends will be like ‘why have you been stabbing classes to sleep’, ‘you sleep too much’, ‘what’s your problem’. I just smile cos it’s very hard to explain. It was only one of my friends that I could explain to and she really understood. God bless her soul.

Being in a God-varsity increased my faith and my spirituality. In my 200l, I threw my glasses away with faith ( I wasn’t even wearing it regularly). And for a while, almost 2 years, the pain did not come back and in 3 different programs I attended, God confirmed my healing through the Preacher. Once the pastor asked everybody that had any issue with their left eye to come out, I came out, he prayed for us and told us that God said we have been healed, two other times, the word came in form of prophesies that there’s someone who gets this pain in her left eye, that she has been healed. I was so happy and excited. Within those 2 years that the ‘eye ache’ left, d pain will try to come back, but I just rebuke it and say ‘I have been healed, I command you ‘eye ache’ to leave’ and it  disappears immediately. I was really happy and I told all my friends that God has healed me of eye pain, I would tell them of how I threw my glasses away and the pain never came back. It was such a thing of joy for me and it increased my faith and trust in God.

But one day, in my final year, the pain came back. I said the normal prayer, the pain did not leave, I was so scared cause I thought I did something wrong, I was confused. How could God take back his healing? What could have gone wrong? Were the prophesies from three different men of God fake? What did I do wrong? I couldn’t lay my finger on anything that could have gone wrong. I forced myself not to blame God or question him. A lot of other more serious issues came up in my final year and a big gap was left in my spiritual life that has not been totally filled up till now.

Right now I’m serving my ‘blessed country’ and the ‘eye ache came back yesterday. It was still there today and I had to take permission from my principal to come back home, I couldn’t even tell him what was wrong with me, I was just like ‘I’m not feeling too good’. The worst part of this ache is that the cause is unknown. My mom uses glasses, but she has never had the eye ache. None of my parents or grandparents have ever experienced such, so I’m sure it’s not hereditary. My first visit to the doctor plus ‘my healing’ has discouraged me from seeking further medical help and my parents still think I’ve been totally healed ’cause I didn’t tell them when the pain came back. I’ve checked online for help, but all I’ve seen  are big grammars that are not related to what I’m experiencing.

I’m smiling now, because the pain is going down gradually, I hope it doesn’t come back again at least for some months. But my greatest fear about this ‘eye ache’ is that one day the left side of my body will get paralyzed. I know it sounds unreasonable, but it’s like there’s something wrong with the left side of my body and sometimes I get this pain in my left knees. What’s most scary about all of this is that there is no hope for me if this happens, because if God could not heal me totally (I know God has the power to heal me, and he did, but for some reason, it came back) then, there’s no hope for me anymore. I have kind of lost hope of being healed again, and anytime I remember that I was once healed, it makes me depressed because I’ve never seen in my bible that God healed someone and the person got sick again, so why is my case different? I just pray the left side of my body doesn’t get paralyzed one day and that my children don’t have the silly ‘eye aches’.

Hopefully, the pain has gone for now,at least till the next few months. I just need an explanation. I have checked my life, I’m pretty sure, I didn’t do anything that would make God angry and take away his healing from me. I need to know why it was taken away. I have not lost my faith in God, I still believe in Him, but our relationship is not the same, I hardly read my bible and pray regularly, not only because of the healing that was taken away, but also some other bigger things I’ve been through.

I can’t seem to get any explanation for this, but in the mean time, while the ‘eye ache’ is gone, all I can do is smile and forget all my fear of paralysis and fear of transferring this ‘disease’ to my children.

• • •

Don’t just read, say a prayer.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Wednesday’s  ’His Story, VIII’ by @The_Basco

You can still send in your own true stories to obafuntay@gmail.com

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “Her Story, XVII by @Seyi_Omotoso

  1. Hi seyi, I think I can pretty much relate to this, one moment ur healed… D next time its like u never experienced dt healing. I believe whatever we go through he has a reason for it, I know dts wt people say but then he’s not a wicked God, he makes us go through things because he knows we can handle them, he’ll never allow us go through pain that we cannot handle. Keep praying, try fixing your relationship with him, its the only real thing we can actually hold on to. Maybe its some sort of test… I say this because I go through what u go through… Not that I’ve been healed but I just believe he wnts to see how long we can keep holding on to him. You will not be paralyzed, he’ll heal. Praying for u.

  2. The truth is there is really no one God has healed and taken it back…but like in the case of Job (though yours is never gonna get that serious) things had to get supposedly ‘worse’ before they became better…even better than they were at the beginning. Please don’t let your faith in God fail. He has healed you before, He will do it again :)…only if you believe.

  3. I’m sorry about what you’re going through. I think you should go to a better hospital. It’s not like I don’t have faith, but I feel that one has to be practical sometimes. There’s the popular saying that goes “Heaven helps those who help themselves”. I don’t think God can truly “heal” you till you make some effort yourself. Else a prayer should be able to cure malaria and asthma! This is just my opinion though. Go to a major hospital.

  4. Hello Seyi,

    What you need to do is get scanned. Scan the affected area for any alien matter; and then a lot of prayer. I think I know what the problem might be but I might be wrong so I’d advice you do a scan first.

  5. Its good you understand that God didn’t take away your healing if He did heal you and no amount of sin will make Him (God) do that. His gifts and callings are without repentance.
    Don’t let the devil decieve you in thinking about paralysis and transferance of your pains to your children, refuse to believe and give in to such thoughts. God is all you need.
    I pray that God visit you in your hour of need in Jesus name

  6. Seyi it is well.
    Sometimes, I feel God doesn’t like me or that he’s just making me feel pains just for his pleasure. Deep down, I know that’s not true. Infact I knw he loves me the most.
    Hold on to God, he never disappoints. You won’t get paralysed or transfer the “disease” to ur kids. God will take it all away, just believe.
    *HUG*

  7. faith is a tricky thing. its like a foundation of sorts, if the foundation falters whatever you’ve built on it, no matter how strong or for how long, will definitely fall. Remember the walking on water? he looked at the waves for the slightest of moments and sank. Its almost like what youre doing. Don’t accept defeat. Talk to God, remind Him of the scripture where he said to “Take Me to court; let us argue our case together. State your case, so that you may be vindicated” (isa 43:26) God can be reasoned with. Do that. remind him of his word.
    even if your faith is weak and you cant do that, dont accept defeat, see a different doctor.
    try reading this http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Believer%27s%20Corner/weakness%20is%20strength.htm

  8. sorry that’s happening to you, i think you should go for full blown check up, because sometimes the obvious things aren’t the real problem, it could be a smaller problem that is just being exaggerated. Just go for a full blown check-up, you are the healed one.

  9. have d tenancity of a bulldog wit these issues, God NEVER takes back his healings but the devil always has a comeback, stand by faith on the word of God dat says u’ve been healed, walk by faith nt by d symptoms and if u’re consistent, d devil will understand dat u’re a no go area, for help u culd read isaiah 53;4-5, james1;17,hebrews 10;23, luke 13;16, they’ve helped several, they can help u 2, dont forget, the gifts of God are without repentance, No sickness, old or relapsed ever comes from God, dont let d devil or religion deceive u.2nd cor 10;5, bye ya!

  10. Hi. You need to get yourself checked out. You are not a child so when the doctor starts to tell you it’s because of glasses tell him it is more than than. Explain your symptoms. Go to as many doctors as possible. Explain to your parents you aren’t feeling too well and you haven’t been for a long time.
    There’s nothing wrong in putting it all in the hands of God, but you have to seek medical advice instead of just ignoring it or just praying. Any persistent pain needs to be checked out. If not the consequences could be dire

  11. seyi dear, God never back his healing, his yes is yes nd his no is no. He has healed you and it is permanent. it is probably just a test of your faith. Gen 1:26 said u have dominion over everything. so therefore u have dominion over the eyeache. You were also created in the image and likeness of God ,he doesnt have eyeache so therefore you cant have eyeache. Confess positive things to yourself and ur healing is permanent.

  12. Because u r a christian wat i am abt to tell u u knw…all d sequential crisis r forms of trials cause d devil wants to position u at d initial spot before u had d healing.Almighty God dos nt heal twice when it is done it is done…let nt ur faith b tampered wit. He is ur father , he said when we r weak, he is strong…Jesus said it is finished on d cross of calvary so ur pains r over…his words r so powerful n neva fails. he loves us so much dat was y he gave u Jesus…Jesus died on d cross cos he believed in u dat u will understand all his works n his father’s, fr der works were/are neva in vain or incomplete. it is well with u. N point of correct it is ur relationship with God dat has changed cos u moved away frm him while he ddnt move away….so find ur steps back to him…n tell him hw wonderful he is, d grace of his love, son Jesus Christ, his death and ressurection,Holy Spirit n his word n devine blood n name dat healed u forever. N stay blessed

  13. Seyi :)….you said this was the least serious of your stories…I know that for every sadness behind that smile…GOD will genuiely make u smile again, yes he would…(Psm 30:5)The eye challenge came back after about 2 or more years of Healing…there’s no problem,because your healing has been perfected,and this is just a trial that is supposed to make you go up higher spiritually…so therefore the best way to deal with it,is not to drift away from GOD,but rather show the enemy how great your GOD is!Continually seek HIM more,show HIM HIS words(scriptures),continually speak the word no matter what the situation is…I mean if you don’t get closer to HIM at this ‘trial’ moment,who would help you?who else can even help us??Our help,your help comes solely from the lord(Psm121:2)So getting back to HIM in prayers,in wordstudy is key in perfecting your healing…yes you were doing all that before it came back…PERSERVE,HE is not a man that HE should lie…if HE has confirmed HIS word through the mouth of HIS prophets it is because it has been done!….Sis…He has a good plan for you,am sure you know that! Jer 29:11…He wants to see you happy,and wants you to see your healing perfected even more than you do…pls go back to seeking HIM as you used to(even better)and that way you can be rest assured that the healing you are experiencing now would become permanent because HIS word says so!…Because HE doesn’t lie(ISAIAH 14 :24)…and pls no need feeling guilty of you doing anything or not doing anything,its the devil’s way of distrupting your beautiful relationship with GOD…continue with your sweet relationship with GOD…HE will help you!You are very safe and so are your children ;)…you have my prayers★GOD bless!

  14. Attention: Seyi_Omotosho

    Healing and any other blessings IN CHRIST is by grace. It does not depend on your WORKS OR EFFORTS – WHETHER U  VE DONE WRONG OR RIGHT, GOOD OR BAD. Only believe and receive. The devil only tried your faith and you accepted him and his eyes problem back, you should ve heldfast to the prophecy and your faith. Your healing has ALREADY been provided for in I Pet 2:24. I declare with other Pastors that “…by His stripes you were healed “. When next you are attacked declare 1Pet 2:24, and keep saying it as long as d pain persist, the “devil and his sickness will flee”

  15. I partly understand how you feel as someone who has also suffered one of the rare forms of migraine. The thing with migraines is that the causes aren’t known yet and it is relatively unique to each person. It’ll help if you can find out the trigger(s) for the migraine. For some people the migraines stop with time or get less frequent.
    From what you’ve described it’s most likely Hemiplegic migraine i might be wrong, you’ll need to see a doctor for a full evaluation, you might need a CTscan or an MRI.

    Has any member of your extended family ever had a stroke?
    Do you have any allergies?
    With my migraines if it’s severe it usually start with pain in the left side of my head then seeing spots in front of that eye, then i start losing my senses starting from touch, usually hearing my surrounding is the last thing i notice before going into a state of unconsciousness. Last time I experienced it was in 2004.
    Holla if you want to talk @afroflare

This is where you sign roll call...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s