Beneath the Smile, I

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here, so you know what to expect. If you are not sure what Beneath the Smile is about, please check the preview out.

The project aims at looking beyond the smiles of the next person, to see what’s really beneath, what’s really going on? How people really need help and won’t bother saying anything about it but would rather cover it up with a façade of strength, with a smile.
It’s time to look beneath the smile and lend a helping hand. People are going through real things, these are their stories.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

We are starting with Adebimbe’s (not real name) story. She sent her personal story in.

Please Read.

The ‘Beneath the Smile’ Project.

behind the smile (design)

Well, here it goes..

I’m Adebimpe Adigun and I see myself as an abnormal 13-year-old. I feel like the world is crumbling and I’m the only one feeling it. I go through so much pain and emotional crap that I shouldn’t be going through at this stage. I think too much.

Why? Okay this is where my story begins.

School’s not been the best. I wake up every morning wishing it was a holiday. My classmates make my life so miserable by tearing my books, breaking my stuff, making fun of my hair, how I dress, calling me a loner and all that childish nonsense. They bully me. They say I don’t talk to them because I act too mature. Honestly, I don’t seem to understand them. Too childish. I act like it doesn’t get to me at school and I never forget to put on a straight face or keep smiling; but when I get to my room, I crouch in the corner of my wall and cry. I cry so hard and so silently. Tears fall from my eyes and run down my face and I weep. I always need someone to talk to .. But most of the time. I keep it to myself.

I’m always asked by people why I relate better with older people and it’s basically because they understand me.
 
I’ve tried to use physical pain to take away the emotional pain but that was a terrible idea.

I punched glass.. I couldn’t hold myself. The anger bottled up in me just needed to get out and I had no one to talk to. I lied to my parents that I fell on bottles.. I’ve been through so much.. Slitting myself with a razor was the worst.. It was hell.

*sigh* I feel alone. The truth is, I feel ugly. I feel like I have no one except family. They love me so much and I love them more.. But you can’t always rely on family when you have to move on..

My emotions take over me most of the time. It’s just me and my BlackBerry against the world.

I need help.

I am not your regular 13-year-old

Why do I feel all alone?

Help me.

       • • •

THANKS FOR READING.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

N.B. The project goes on with Saturday’s Beneath the Smile, II by @its_kash

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

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26 thoughts on “Beneath the Smile, I

  1. Bimpe, i feel for u. The person u really need is Jesus. The emptiness u feel can only be filled up by Him. Also keep talking to older people, ur classmates are probably jealous of ur maturity and are trying to make u act like them. The emptiness can go away, just talk to Jesus.

  2. Hi Adebimpe,
    Your story’s touching! You are just another victim of Bullying. I saw a show on TV recently and it really caught my attention because I was once a victim too.
    I want you to know that your bullies lack some of your good qualities that’s why they turn against you – they are jealous and treat you bad.
    Some of the advice or solutions to bullying are:
    -that you talk to your teacher(s) and or principal about it. I’m sure one of them will solve the issue since your classmates are the bullies. Teachers claim they are not aware of bullying that is why such issues linger for long.
    -talk to your family members about it and keep disturbing them until one accepts to go with you to school and talk to your teacher or principal about it. In my case I talked to my dad and refused to leave for school till he followed me. Some people may laugh at you as coward though but it works.
    -believe in your self and don’t let them intimidate you. Once teacher/principal is aware and any one of your bullies harasses you, stand up to him/her and report the case to your teacher afterwards. Other bullies will be cautioned and your being bullied dies down gradually.

    Stop hurting your self, bullying is a temporary problem. Be brave, believe in your self and let nobody make you feel bad about your self and always report your bullies. You’ll get through it!

  3. Bimpe I agree wiith wat Abimbola just said. We all have dat feeling of emptiness n we try to fill it up with all the wrong thiings. God is the only one who can make you feel better, think abt it 2000yrs b4 ur parents were born He sent His son to die for ur sins wat do u tink he would withold from u. God loves u n His hands are wide upon to embrace u n fill up that hole. D more u hurt urslef d worse it gets stop doing that to urself. Wish deres a way I could contact u personally.give ur hrt to Him, tell him everytin n weneva u feel lonely pray to him n listen to gospel songs trust me they calm the spirit. If u r a xtian already n in a good church meet a female pastor maybe ur pastors wife for counselling

  4. Firstly, u need God, ask hm to help u so u can be free, secondly, try make friends with ur mates, talk to dem, play with them and u wud c whr d prob lies but above all, try and work on urself, change some tins abt urself and c if d@ wud work.

  5. So sorry dear… As much as I’d want you to make friends and have a good life. You need to know that you really can’t achieve this without the help of Jesus. He LOVES you dear and he wants to be your closest pal, confidant. He really wants to help. So, all you need do is invite him in and you’d be surprised.
    I also think you should let your parents know. You shouldn’t be secretive about matters like this, no matter how it hurts. God bless your heart dear and you’ll find peace and joy in abundance.

  6. Well.. all i can say is that.. you should stand up for yourself.. dont let nobody bully you. Talk back at them,speak for yourself.. but dont be violent about it, if violence comes to place than take it to your principal. Also try and make friends in school and above all look up to God. 🙂

  7. I read a book about a similar case to this, and I think it could help. Can’t really remember the title and author now. Would get back at this soon as I get it.

  8. hey boo,
    Firstly, you are not alone, everywhere in the world teenagers are being bullied and made to feel worthless.,,many people can relate to this story.
    But let me tell you that if you are not anything special, no one would pay enough attention to intentionally try to pull you down. You just need to get out of this phase and when you do, you will be so happy in yourself.
    One of my favorite disney characters (mulan)’s father said that the latest flower to bloom is always the most beautiful (or something along those lines).
    Don’t hate anybody, because you will never be happy that way. Do things that make you happy more, spend more time with your family.
    The most important piece of advise is that Jesus died for your very worth and value, He sees you as a masterpiece, more beautiful than the constellation of stars, breathtaking landscapes, beautiful oceans…. you are beautiful and don’t ever think otherwise xxx

  9. Well… Its a crazy world we living in. I’ll advice you care less on what you peers say, do or think about you. Focus your strenght n attention on better thing because believe it or not, if you are on the right part pple wouldn’t like you much xcept 4 a few. And plzzzzzzz try not to hurt yourself. Its not such a bright part to walk.
    Nice write up Boss.

  10. I read this earlier and didn’t want to leave a comment but then here i am back again feeling like i just need to let you know that you really are not alone.

    I can’t explain to you how this was my story, growing up and being in a class where more than half the class picks on you and they hate you and when you are supposed to be young and enjoy being young, you are forced to keep crying and wondering why every one just doesnt like you. forced to try to understand why you feel so alone.

    for someone who has been there, i can tell you that you are not alone!

    You are loved. Loved by yourself, loved by your family and loved by God! This Love would help you rewrite your history.

    One thing i want you to do is get rid of the negative thoughts. No more “No body Likes me” No more “I dont think i am worthy to be loved” No more “No one would understand”

    Look in the mirror everyday and appreciate yourself, Love your self, say positive things to yourself.
    11
    I know you would get better. Stay strong and DONT GIVE UP.

  11. I belief your family is the best place to find peace. You need to come out and stop crying. You know what? The world does revolves around you. So see other reasons to be happy. Like you are alive, there is surely a reason for your existence. So why doesn’t you find out, it will be more interesting and adventerous.
    I pray that God give you the strenght to come out of this shell in Jesus name

  12. Its time we show true love to people around us. Its time we look beyond and behind the smile in order to see the inner pain so as to show love and support to those in need in any way possible.

  13. Hello dear,i read this and wasn’t sure on how to comment but after a couple of minutes i decided to say something because if i just moved onto the next blog i’ll be like every other person who has the opportunity to help someone but acts ignorant.

    I want to know that I LOVE YOU.

    Everybody else that commented before me loves you to in one way or another.

    And most importantly He (God) who gave us the grace to love, loves you the most.

    I don’t know you personally but i can tell that you are a really wonderful person. For you to be willing to share your story with the whole world knowing fully well that it’ll expose you to the possibility of inhumane comments and even worse,cyber-bullying.

    YOU ARE VERY BRAVE.

    I challenge you to use that same bravery to conquer the fear of being bullied and any other problem your facing right now knowing that we are solidly behind you.

  14. hey dearie,
    So sad 2 read dis.. i bn dere b4… Wot i did was tell my mum abt it, she talkd 2 my teacher n… problem was solved. U cud try dat too..
    Also, u wud neva get a better frnd than Jesus… when u feel lonely, try writing a note 2 HIM abt hw u feel.. It’s actually relieving n b4 long u’ld feel so close 2 Him n no amt of bullyin wud weigh u down. God bless u n i’m praying 4 u :* :* *hugs*

  15. It is well with you in Jesus name. As others have said, look to Jesus and He will surely bring you comfort. The Holy Spirit will constantly be there to comfort you as He is the Great Comforter. One thing I want you to know (which Im also trying to teach myself) is that you are different! You are unique, each and everyone of us is different. We have unique gifts and talents that make us different and no matter who you are, God loves you.

    Don’t compare yourself to anyone or you may find yourself feeling down and disappointed. Take the time to write down the things you like about yourself. And seek to remind yourself of these things each time you feel down. Pray to God to help you love yourself the way He has made you. No one is perfect but I believe God created us perfectly for the plan He has for us.

    When you say you think too much, all I thought was lol … cause you can give me a simple scenario and I would have probly over analyzed it before 15secs is over, lol. Just know you are not alone.

    Find someone who is mature in the faith and seek counsel from them. Read the Word of God and pray anytime you feel down. Feel free to open up your heart to Him completely. No matter what you think, just do it, He is ALWAYS willing to accept you, don’t ever think otherwise.

    I pray the Lord will guide you and bring peace to your heart. I want to leave you with Isaiah 43, read it as often as you can and meditate on it. You seem like someone with an amazing imagination, just think of the wide range of amazing plans He has for you Jeremiah 29:11.

    Stay Blessed!

  16. true happiness comes from within and not from wat happens around u. Bimpe i have been where you are, maybe not exactly but i have been where i felt worthless, and unloved. i looked for love in the wrong places but i did not find it. i was just a sad, depressed inferior fellow. but something happened that changed my life. i had given my life to Christ but i did not understand what the christian life was all about. i have been on this journey for quite a while but now i am getting there. i finally have come to terms with where true joy comes from. it is only Jesus that can give true joy. you are young and i would really love you to get this now cos u ll neva regret it. once u get a life with Christ d people that insulted u will one day turn to u. remember the bible says the stone the builders rejected became the cornerstone. bimpe dont feed ur thoughts with negatives. even if the world thinks ur ugly, as long as u are convinced u are not then u actually are not. neva let what people think be wat u take in to believe. trust me Godz love is all u need.his love is all encompassing. when u experience it, u neva get enuf of it. and u are perfect d way u are cos God made u dat way so u ll fulfill ur purpose here on earth. anyfn u fnk u dont like, go to God cos he is d manufacturer, he alone can make d changes. dont go complaining to him. tell him like a child to her father.
    may you find peace and comfort in God. u are young and u deserve the best.
    i love you and am sure God loves u more than u can ever know.

  17. Wow. I remember me at 13. Most confusing year I ever lived through. Didn’t know what to think of the world. Everything was happening fast. Nobody seemed to understand me.

    Biggest lie of all time is to tell yourself you’re all alone. Truth is: a lot of people have been through (different shades of) this same phase. It helps to take the pains to know and love yourself.

    When you think about it, no two people are ever the same – not even those who laugh at you. It’s our differences that really unite us. So, be proud of those things that make you different. If anything, you’re fortunate to have realized your uniqueness earlier than the jesters.

  18. Hey, seriously…

    Fuck ’em.

    Do you understand how much more of a head start you have, on life, than any of those little kids? First off, when they have to deal with a bunch of obnoxious little pricks later on, they aren’t going to have a clue how to handle it. But YOU – you’ve already had the experience, thanks to them. Second, how many of them can write like you? Can they inspire people the way you do? YOU ARE 13 AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE ACCOMPLISHING ALREADY. It may not seem like much now, (and sorry I’m kinda late on this thread) but maybe it will help to just think about 5 years from now – or even a year or two – where will you be in comparison to those kids?

    I’m going to let you know right now, you are going to be the one running shit. Think about how, some day, you will be looking back on this sad situation and laughing, as those individuals finally get a chance to see that, while they were busy forming stupid little cliques and doing nothing special with their shallow lives, YOU were out there making a difference.

    I was in your place. I still am at times. But now it’s 5 years later for me… and those kinds of people will always be around – going through their same pathetic cycle that never accomplishes anything, while I continue to see people like you and I rising up and actually doing something for the world. You’re leaving them in the dust, precious. Let them play their games.

    So now, when they laugh at you, you can laugh right along with them. You can laugh at the sight of them wasting their lives, laughing at you.

    AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE WILL ALL BE LAUGHING WITH YOU.

    And when you need it, I will cry with you,
    AustinReeceSullivan

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