Lost in the Echo

I’ve been sitting here waiting for ‘inspiration’. To be honest, I’m not sure of what I want to write about or how to go on about it, so forgive me if I digress or rather, when I digress.

Where do I begin?

Oh, I should start by, congratulating every one of you, it’s a privilege to see a new day.. You know? And then we get to see a new year! Its been baba God.

A lot has happened recently, it’s just too much of a transition. Things have changed, things are changing, people have changed, people are changing, losing friends, making new ones, getting out of relationships, jumping into others, new places, new faces, being enmeshed in the guise of new-found freedom, trying new things, trying wrong things, trying to be right, making decisions, breaking promises, comprising principles, disappointing many, meeting expectations of a few, father talks, mother hugs, getting lost, trying to get found. Closed chapters, opened new ones.

Oh, I should get on to something that has been on my mind for a while now…

My weaknesses.

They have been a thorn in my flesh thus far. They show up in their numbers, so often these days. I seem to have fed them! Oh God! Look at them!! they have grown all obese on me, I don’t know where their strength lies, they stare at me, grinning! *sigh I thought I had overcome these things… “Well, you can’t get over us“, I hear their accusing lingering echoes.

His excuse has always been “I’m only human, I am not perfect”.

How long shall we hear this, how long shall we continue to listen to this?!” the accuser of the brethren chants. “How long?!”

What do you have to say for yourself? Speak.

My name is Funto AyinOluwa and I make mistakes.

I’ll be honest, I have used the “I’m only human, I am not perfect” excuse, way too much when I give in to my weaknesses.
I thought it’ll help lessen the guilt I feel each time I fall short, alas, my conscience, I steer.
I have vowed times without number, “This wouldn’t happen next time” I will say. That’s become a broken record now. Promises shattered.
I fed them. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms. I let the guards down, my eyes to blame, my ears to blame.

I’ll be honest, I have been unfaithful, yet He has stayed faithful.

But then…

“Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid.” That verse in the bible gets me trembling. He has been faithful, yes. But is that why I tend to take things for granted? Nurturing these weaknesses, expecting grace to abound still?

I wonder why they call them weaknesses, as they seem to have such strength over us. We allow them to at least. We feed them. Then they get all obese and control us. Control me.

Weaknesses, you say?

Still, they toss you around, hold you down, take charge, and take control.

Who’s weak now?

Hello weakness,

We need to talk.

We can’t do this anymore. Yes, I admit, sometimes, it seemed fun while it lasted. It’s not you, it’s me. I need a change. We are just at different points now.

I can’t do this anymore.

You see, I do not know what your own weaknesses are, I know mine. You know yours. I guess everyone has their own sorta baggage. Be it: Doubts, Lust, Envy, Pride, Fornication, being the Chatter box, Chronic attention seeking, Adultery, Covetousness, The blunt, Insecurities, Procrastination, Glory mongering, Busy body, Drugs ati be be lo {and so on and so forth}

Something needs to be done, because with time, with all of these, weighing one down, we get to push people away, begin to lose friends, and eventually lose one’s self to the echo.

We need to let Go(d), it’s time to let Baba God. Because frankly, o ti su mi {I’m tired}

My name is Funto AyinOluwa and I make mistakes.

Far from perfect I may be, to be better I want to be.

I’m done being lost in the echoes of my weaknesses. I’m tired.

It’s time to Let Go(d)

But then, this is what I think, what do I know?

46 thoughts on “Lost in the Echo

  1. My name is Michael Damilola and I make mistakes but I serve a God that’s always there to steer my destiny. Thank you Jesus.

    Welcome back, Funto!

    Mike Dammy

  2. DAMN!!! u nigga… i am not going to give you pity… Hisses*
    Ode boy… leaving this space for so long is a crime.. Punishable by the Law of Blogging… You are hereby sentenced to Life in prisonment as a Blogger… Hisses* Oloshi omo

    *now going back to read the post*

  3. This is a really good one dear. And it deeply touches everyone cos we all have weaknesses. But sometimes they make us feel like very alone, cos we think we’re the only ones that are weak and everyone seems fine and perfect. We all need God; he’s the only one that can make us worthy…keep it up

  4. Standard post… :). Reason why I don’t like reading your posts, makes me feel like a useless writer… 😦 Fool. -____-. Good one bro, keep it up,,,, it doesn’t get higher than this tho. :p

  5. I kno my weaknesses and sometimes they know how to track me down but I have only one God and one mediator who understand my limitations and who will continue to strengthen me even though I do have relapse, the battle against this thorn in my flesh is not easy to surmounted, but I believe in him who know my formations that am just a dust, I know he will help to suppress this desire as we usher into the new year. I ‘ll advice that you should not join band-wagon by saying that “am are not the only one who does or everybody does it everybody will render his or her own account to God.”

  6. And yes o, God will help us truly!
    Albeit the wholesome and beautiful piece this is, I have to point out a few things that are missing.

    I very well understand the let go term but I have issues with the fact that people,Nigerians especially, take the term literally and do nothing. We keep ‘praying’ for Nigeria but no one is doing anything to resolve the issues at hand, as if God will come down Himself but, I digress!

    The truth of the matter is that many of us, love our weaknesses and lots of times, we fall into the traps knowingly with our two hands, eyes and legs.
    I was once told that to rid yourself of a besetting sin, you need to first hate it. many times, people don’t hate it enough is why they keep going back. Next, we need to guard against it. Take active steps.
    If person x likes watching porn online, person x should delete all such saved web pages. Person x should become accountable to someone. Person x should spend more time being active outside; doing things that are unrelated to sex/porn et cetera.

    It sounds reasonable but carrying it out is the difficult part and that’s where we let God. We ask Him for the strength and His Holy spirit to help guide us.

    I am no perfect being, but I am constantly trying to be who He called me to be.

    Y’all know the story of David yes? Sly homie…lol.
    David, in my opinion, committed one of the gravest premeditated sins for a lover of God. He orchestrated the death of Uriah to be with Bathsheba.
    But God still called him the man after his heart.
    Every time I read the story, I’m reminded that it is of utmost importance that we quickly see and realize how we’ve become insubordinate and then return to a place of worship.

    Finally, yes, we all fall short but it gives us no excuse. That we keep trying to be who He wants us to be; That we never give up and become comfortable with all these imperfections is what God wants. David never exactly did anything of that sort again, at least there’s no record of it.

    And wow, I never intended for this to be long. My apologies.

    • No need for apologies jerey! This is what we want!

      This is why I always love your comments, I totally agree with you.

      It’s one thing to say, it’s another thing to actually do what’s been said.
      It’s exactly what the verse “shall we continue to be in sin that grace may abound? God forbid” is about.

      If we keep saying we want to stop and still end up going back to our vomit, it’ll choke us eventually.
      So just like you said, its not just about leaving it to God, but it’s about inviting him to help, forgive and personally staying away from these weeknesses.

      Thank you so much!

  7. Wow!!! Funto I love dis. Far from perfect are we but to be better we all want to be. I ll say let God be d captain, only release ur ship to be contolled by him. Wen u do no matter d storms or wind u ll sail safely to d end

  8. “Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid.”
    This Bible verse haunts me.
    I’m still lost. I won’t deny it.
    God Help us all.

  9. Haha. I think you aren’t lost actually. I think you’ve found your way. Once a man realises his weaknesses, he’s one step into making them strengths. Great post man. Even greater writings. Fluid, great assemblage of words. (Y)

  10. Yea we all have weaknesses I do too. Just two of them. Can’t seem to let go. But I’ll try. I’ll try so hard. Thanks for this funto. Great write up, as always.

  11. Funto this blogpost was talking about me.. To me, for me. Expressing the hidden inner longings of my heart. Which is to leave my weaknesses and focus on God. Thank you Pastor Funtay as I would start calling you from today. Gracias.

  12. Thanks for the honesty and simplicity in your write ups, they’ve been so inspiring. I’m rather honored to be part of this blog. Hope to see more of your write ups in the year to come. Stay blessed.

  13. as usual. Funto kills it, if i knw ma
    Obafuntay well, i can asweell guess wat dat weakness is.. In a generation where everything seems to go… Strength may be lost, so we think all weld do is fall. so our attempts to change stall and get dethrone like d Crown off Saul. Finaaly. Only God can help us all..
    Btw Funtay i have a story.. Great one i Want you to Write on ma Behalf.

  14. I was going to ask why you had not put up a post in a while and then you do this and do not even mention me. Issokay I understand. Thank you for being a blogger. Not everybody can bare their weaknesses to the whole world. Happy new year.

  15. Third, we find a guideline for conduct in questionable areas: If it’s doubtful, it’s dirty. Frequently, young people ask if God will let them do this or that, desiring to walk as closely along the border of sin without exacting its consequences. To doubtful acts Paul cries out, “whatever is not of faith is sin” (verse 23).

  16. Well said, beautifully composed…2COR 3:5 “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God”…indeed we have weaknesses that we can only overcome with GOD on our side,with HIM as our FIRST…GOD will continually help us all…(AMEN)….nice one funto 🙂

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