Remember Child Musings written by @Jetttson that we all enjoyed, well, in case you missed out on it, read it Here. Yes, just click the “Here”. Now, we present to you the ever funny Child Musing ii by @jetttson again.
First off… I thank you all for all the comments… re-tweets… “LOLs”… “LMAOOOOOs”… “LWKMDs” etc… I appreciate gaan ^_^… I am most especially grateful to bev (@shytalkative) and @ObaFuntAy… they helped out a lot (although they didn’t correct my gbagauns in the previous post >.>)… anyway… without further ado… I present child musings…….
Mrs Okoro looked me in the eye and frowned… “At your age you’re still pupuing on yourself… shame on you… ”… I let out silent tears… “See how your class mates are laughing at you… anyway I can’t let you walk around with all this shit… so you’ll have to wear the girls’ uniform till your daddy comes”… “Please ma… no” “WILL YOU SHUT UP… DID I TELL YOU TO SHIT ON YOURSELF?! ” “please ma… pleaaaaaaaasssssssssseee” she lifts her hand to slap me but the matron interrupts… “Take it easy Mrs Okoro… he’s just a child” “A very stupid child… please take him inside and change his uniform” she takes me in gently “you’re lucky… I was going to slap your ears off” (thought: you should have done it… see if I won’t put you in an arm lock)… inside… I tried to persuade the matron to let me stay with her until school was over… I’m sure she would have agreed if not for Mrs Okoro’s frequent howling… she dressed me up quickly and took me out… as I stepped out I noticed a smirk on Mrs Okoro’s face (thought: my God will judge you)… she took me to the class and even before we entered my class mates were already peeping out to see the new citizen of Scotland… Mrs Okoro stepped back and gestured for me to enter the class alone (thought:
I summoned courage and proceeded into the class on my own… heart breaking laughter filled my ears… my God what did I do wrong… WHAT?!… Mrs Okoro steps in “don’t you know your seat again?!” she still had 30 minutes so she went on teaching… using me as a point of reference any time she had the chance… she
even told me to go to the girls side when it was time for quiz… all the while I silently prayed the undertaker would come out from the ground and give Mrs Okoro a befitting choke slam… she left the class 15 minutes early… just enough time to get tortured… all my class mates were getting ready to pick on me and then… when I least expected it… the school bell rang (thought: ^_^ thank you Jehovah… I am forever gratef…) the bell rang again and again and again… the bell rang four times… this could only mean one thing… assembly! (Thought: Jesus I’m still ready… you can still take me)… I was going to leave the class last but two hefty boys dragged me out “LEAVE ME ALONNEEEEE” (translation: pick on someone your own size you premature gorillas)… they both declined and carried on… dragging me to the assembly front….they drooped me just before we got there and left… I thought about running away but I couldn’t… not with all these teachers around… I walked hurriedly to the space assigned to my class… hopefully no one would notice… It worked until the girl whose name I wrote down in the noisemakers list (you should remember her from part one) screamed “MAYOWA WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY SKIRT?!” the little bitch… all because of a stupid noisemakers list… all the students turned around and stared… they didn’t laugh or anything (I wasn’t so popular)… then I started walking again (fuck up)… they all noticed my struggle walk whilst wearing the skirt (it’s the sort of walk you’ll get if 50 cent ever wears a kilt ) mehn you should have seen the way they laughed and pointed immediately they noticed I was a boy… even the not-so-cool kids laughed… I just stayed where I was and didn’t venture to go any further… the teachers were compassionate enough to let me stay there… the impromptu assembly had been called because there was a shoot-out going on outside between the police and some hoodlums so we were asked to stay in school for a while longer
The actual fuck… how could all these things be happening today… how?!… Something is wrong somewhere… I made way to the class… the things these evil children did and said to me… I actually had to cross my leg like a girl because some asshole peeped under the desk to see my panties (karma is a bitch -_-)… another one drew this and pasted it on the board
… even when I wanted to go to the toilet one primate threatened to follow me to play mummy and daddy with me (I saw him holding hands with a light skinned man some days back)… these children didn’t let up one bit… they took all my notes and added a “Mrs.” Just before my name… then news got out that the shoot-out was over and we could all go home… (Thought: it took you this long to hear me Jesus) but before I even stepped out Mrs Okoro entered the class with a new short for me… I did this to her in my mind
I just had this feeling Mrs. Okoro had somehow joined forces with some babalawo and had today planned out
Today is worst day of my life… this was all I had on my mind as I made my way to the school gate to meet my father… I considered running away from Nigeria… I wondered how much an okada man would charge to take me London… my dad smiles and asks “how was school today?” I was going to tell him all that happened but Mrs Okoro had threatened to make me wear a feminine uniform for the rest of my stay in primary school if I did… “Fine” I force a smile… as we went through the school gate I had just one thought……
p.s. I think the girl that screamed my name was @i_annette… I think >_>