The Tale of the Silent Screamer

It’s 8:31pm, I’m taking a walk, I’m in that mood again, each time I get in it, I fall in deeper, the headphone is on, but it doesn’t work… I’ll just leave it there all the same. Its best when people think I can’t hear them, I don’t even feel sad about this ’cause everyday, I scream and no one hears.
Life just goes on… silly me!
What did I expect, that the world halts and try to fix me? or someone taps me and indisputably wants to know what’s going on, asking “why are you screaming so loud” even with my lips sealed. I keep walking, there are pedestrians everywhere, look at them, they never hear, they never listen, but I scream still.

Frustration, tension, apathy…

These three now stick with me like accessories I can’t do without, the more I try to get them off, they become yet even tighter. I have lost my voice, I scream no more not cause I don’t want to but because I just can’t anymore.

I hear a deafening scream, it seems to come from behind me, I look around, I see nothing grotesquely odd,

the mallam selling suya down the road, the road-side traders, the thugs fighting over change, cars honking… same ol’ Lagos theatrics.

But with these entire simultaneous occurrences I hear this screamer distinctively, I can’t help but wonder why, I take off my headphones, tap him and ask why? He went on about how everybody had been praying for his only brother, how pastors, family, prayer warriors, had been praying yet, he is six feet beneath as we walk.
He is blaming himself, his eyes tear as he asks rhetorically “If I prayed seriously and fasted would that have made a difference?”
I just stare blankly, I can see the agony through his eyes, and he really believes if he prayed a little more, there’d have been a difference. I mumble something about not blaming himself; crack my head on anything inspiring I can share as I pat him on the back, increase my pace and continue walking.
Now ahead of him, my mind can’t help but wonder and think… God why?
But people prayed, warriors, faith believing pastors, agreements were made, demons bound and casted but today, this boy is here sad, in tears and without a brother nor a father who he lost years back.

*sigh*

Here is another screamer calling for answers, in dire need for comfort, in need of love, In need of hope, searching for answers.

This walk, I shall never forget, the lesson learned I always remember: Life is too short to have such accessories (frustration, tension and apathy) weighing one down. There are people out there, screaming everyday even with their lips sealed, going through real things; life is just one big bully slapping faces unexpectedly.

***********************************************************************************************************************

This goes out to all screamers, we hear you, we care, and you are not alone.
Tap a screamer today, we are everywhere, your course-mate, brother, sister, bunk-mate, room-mate, the ever smiling friend… cause you never know what really is behind that smile.

Can any one relate to this ?

R.I.P Patrick Akano and Happy Birthday!!
If you can read this, your brother @Lex_469 says “Rest in peace, I know there is a party in heaven for you”

If you enjoyed reading, please follow/subscribe to this blog and make use of the comment box.
Share your thought as the souls of our loved ones who have passed, Rest in Peace.

R.I.P Grandpa. ♥

But then, this is what I think, what do I know?

118 thoughts on “The Tale of the Silent Screamer”

  16. Hello Alex,u know we can’t reali question God..he knows d reason 4 everything,wil only say tears wil not bring ur brother back..dnt eva stop praying,pray witout season 4 God is d answer 2 everything and always remember that those whom God luv die young..may Patrick be celebrated in heaven..in God u’l find a father and a brother.Take heart n may the almighty continue 2 protect us all!Amen.Mercillina Henry

  21. Sighs… Wish i can relate to this Writeup …. But I’m sane! … Normal.. not disturbed like u… :D.. well Aniwais… dont mind me……. Good WriteUp… err.. wish there is a ‘Like’ button…..

  25. You Keep on impressing me Funto. I am a silent screamer. I’m tired of screaming. I have decided to leave it all to God and help other screamers like myself. Who knows? I may find relief. God bless you. 🙂

  28. Nice and touching post. Makes us realise what is really going on around us. Alexander, God knows best. Take hrt n be strong. R.I.P Patrick Akanno!

  29. Lovely title, sad story.
    I believe that we’re just trying to get a handle on life and we pretend that what we do really matters even if it doesn’t. We’re only reminded of this fact when life decides to go on and leave our tantrums without regard.

    Screamer, relax.
    Sigher.

    • You will. Life is too short to remain depressed, we’ve all been there, at least iKnow I get in there often but we need to get out and enjoy!
      Thank you fellow screamer, you are not alone.

  33. This piece is beyond deep.After reading it,it made me realize that life is to short to in regards to many things we as people complain bout or the all around negativites we hold on to.keep inspiring : )

  34. okay. just thot to read this before my battery died.
    I won’t pretend I understand it completely ( as most people know, I don’t understand all these deep posts. daz y I write straight stories) or relate to it, but I am most impressed with the gloom surrounding the narrator. sad. funny, I have always wanted to write something like this, surrounding a strolling character at night.
    nice one .___.

    amen to the RIP

  37. I’m a silent screamer, the loudest of them all..have the perfect smile to cover everything up, just like alex I’m sure(seen him a couple of times)..who wud have known wat he was goin through?I wouldnt! wud have evn wondered, Y is this one so happy sef? but I’ve realised that if U let Him, God will take away the pain..it may take time, but this I’m sure of..R.I.P Patrick Akanno, his dad and mine…

  41. Life is full of lessons & Funto, U’ve done well to teach us some…..
    Its crazy how you think bro…(somehow like me tho’ :D)….but I’m still taking notes from you
    Thumbs up….GGMYB 🙂

  46. Wait a minute. Just took time out to read the comments. We have this many screamers??? As a psych major, I’ll like to know why you are silent, if you can admit that you are a silent screamer. Yes I know, we all want to be tapped on the shoulder and asked ‘what’s going on?’, but why, when you could just share it with whoever is standing right next to you. Not good enough, talk to a psych-major in your school, or better still, a psychologist. They are trained at this. Many may disagree, just like the writer, who I’ve heard say the profession of psych is ‘talking to someone who pretends to care’ – paraphrase. But no, they render qualities such as attention, empathy and positive regard, which are facilitative of betterment of emotions.

    • Funto!!! I know this is you!! LOL. Are you ever going to forgive me for saying that? Pardon me, I was quite ignorant then. I agree with the qualities a psych renders. Set of amazing people.
      Nevertheless, people differ in several ways, as, there are people who are ready to share what’s going on without being asked. (This is very admirable) Meanwhile, there are people who would rather wear a smile to cover up everything, cos quite frankly, we find it hard to share what we are going thru with just anybody… I guess this isn’t so good (a problem shared is half solved) but really, that’s just how we are, plenty people out there, especially the ones “standing right next to you” are just curious. We would change, hopefully.
      Thank you so much. I learned a thing or two from this.

      • Lol. You’re welcome.
        For all the ‘silent screamers’ out there, I just want to encourage you to talk to someone, not necessarily a mate, why not try an elder figure, like your Chaplain or a parent or you know… But if that doesn’t work too, you can talk to me. Trust me, I ain’t curious…lol 😉 Wearing a smile and covering things up limits your capacity, it allows whatever bothers you to run a longer course. I know if feels easier to keep it in, but trust me, give it a try. It’s called the ‘talking cure’. You may wanna google it. I’ll stop now. 🙂

  48. really nice. this is a kind of callback to reality for me. its time for each and every1 of us to become more sensitive to things happenin to people around us. it doesnt matter if u are passing through a phase at the moment, helping sm1 out of his or hers could be the beginning of ur own healing. ps. we also need God to locate such silent screamers. and dont 4get to be persistent and daring in this task.
    I remember the story of a young boy who goes out with his father(a pastor) every saturday from door to door to share tracts. on this particular saturday there was a heavy downpour, and the boy’s father told him that they would not be able to go out that day, but the boy said that d rain would not stop sinners from going to hell, so he went under the rain without his father. after sharing the tracts he had just one left and he was drawn to a particular house. he stopped and knocked, no one answered but he continued to knock for over 8mins, he couldnt leave cos smthing held him there. he continued to knock on that door until an old woman came to open the door, the boy on seeing her gave her the tract and told her “God still loves you” and left for his home. the following sunday during the church service, the pastor called out for testimonies. there was this woman who raised her hand, and when she was allowed to speak. she told the church of how her husband died, leaving her without children, she suffered lonliness and hurt as no one would talk to her or visit her. for many years she lived in dat house no one ever knocked on her door, she beleived no one loved her so she decided to end her life dat saturday. she took a rope, climbed a chair and was about to jump off when she heard a knock on the door, she stopped for a moment sayin to herself that it was a mistake and whoever it was was going to leave. but the knock continued until she could no longer ignore it. she then went to the door and opened it, she saw a little wet boy who gave her a tract and told her that God still loves her,just wat she neede at that moment. that was how she was stopped from commiting suicide. so guys please dont give up in this fight, take a stand and make a big difference in sm1’s life.

  50. Funto i’m so proud of u
    dis is BEAUTIFUL
    n i totally relate wit it
    dey jst can’t hear u scream but i sure know God does
    cuz even wen dey hear
    jst like u dey ave no answer to ur screams
    Guess i’m loosing my voice already
    tired of screaming
    n will let the Heart listener do His job.

    U make me proud 🙂

  51. there’s a reason this man stayed behind on tuesday after church o…cheers man, i believe in you!…do and publish tins make we spend ure money…#notime!

  52. really inspiring and i can definitely relate with it…somehow, i think we are all silent screamers at some point in our lives…great job Funto..

  55. very good job OBAFUNTAY!!!
    well, maybe im a silent screamer n im fyn wiv it bt d important part is finding how to get people to open up to you even when they dont want to. (hope yhu get my point). read thru some comments n err1 seems to be admitting that theyy are silent screamers but then how do we help ourselves n nudge ourselves to open upp even when we dnt want to. I guess dts d most important part.
    so wts ur opinion?

    • i think by just being there for each other..letting the person know they always have a listening ear and a supporting shoulder in u, people can only open up to people they feel comfortable with

      • I totally agree with Seun on this… Cause quite frankly, that’s what we silent screamers need to be sure of, that there are people out there, that really care. So I guess we all have to check ourselves, do our ears listen or just hear, do our shoulders support or are just broad ? Even if you are a silent screamer, tap another screamer, you just may find some relief in helping others. #TT

  68. Am new here. This is really beautiful writting. I would really like to be followed back on twitter @kry7stal. Thank you. I just noticed,this post is quite old. O’well…doesnt change its beauty

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